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1. The Room Above the Indian Grocery

2. Where are My Socks and Other Mysteries of Love

3. If You Can't Win, Shoot for a Tie

4. Do Someone a Favor and It Becomes Your Job

5. Never Play Leapfrog with a Unicorn

6. Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing

7. Two Wrongs are Only the Beginning

8. Never Wear Earmuffs in a Bed of Rattlesnakes

9. Where's There's a Will, There's a Won't

10. When You're Over the Hill, You Pick Up Speed

11. Experience is Something You Don't Get Until Just After You Need It

12. Doing It the Hard Way is Always Easier

13. If Anything Can Go Wrong, It Will